Zelda OoT: How To Piss Off Hyrule
by Potter Police
Summary: A really funny fic, I want to coninue, but don't know if I should... Well, what if instead of trying to save Hyrule, Link instead had a new goal, to piss it off? PLZ R & R! Really funny!
1. Kokiri Forest

It's my turn to make a Zelda parody. No flames, please.  
  
Dsclmr: I own nothing except for Zelda: OoT, and Zelda, Four Swords. Only the games. I make no money from this whatsoever.  
  
Chapter One: Chapter One  
  
Link: **we see him sleeping**  
  
Navi: **flys in** HEY HEY HEY WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!!!!!  
  
Link: **yawns, sits up and sees Navi** OOH! Floating, glowing, pink marshmellow! Yum! **grabs her and eats her and then rubs stomach** mmmmmm, marshmellow....  
  
Navi: **from inside stomach** let me out stupid!!!  
  
Link: **stares freaked out at stomach** what the... **then burps, and Navi flys out** eeeeeew...  
  
Navi: what do you eat?!  
  
Link: I don't know actually... **scatches head**  
  
Navi: oh well, actually, I'm not a marshmallow.  
  
Link: You're not? **looks surprised** then what are you?  
  
Navi: **puffs out chest** I am your fairy, sent by the Gre-  
  
Link: my WHAT?!  
  
Navi: you ruined my moment.  
  
Link: You mean, you're one of those annoying little things that hide in my hat, float around my head, and say, 'HEY' all the time? And now I have one?!  
  
Navi: I never thought of us like that, I'll have to talk to the Union about this... Oh, yah, I'm one of those.  
  
Link: Ok then, so what were you saying?  
  
Navi: Oh, well, I was sent here by the Great Deku Tree, you have been summoned.  
  
Link: But I payed my rent, I swear!  
  
Navi: **looks around at little tree house** are the rates good?  
  
Link: eh, fairly.  
  
Navi: **comes to senses** I don't think that's what it's about, lets get going.  
  
Link: But I don't wanna go anywhere. I wanna make out with Saria first...  
  
Navi: Shut up, and let's go!!!  
  
Link: oh all right... **climbs down ladder**  
  
Voice: Hey!  
  
Link: **glares at Navi suspiciously**  
  
Saria: Over here! **runs up to Link** where you going?  
  
Link: To see the Great Deku Tree.  
  
Navi: **puffs chest out proudly (If possible)** That's right, he's been summoned!  
  
Saria: Oh, I see you got an annoying, glowing, flying pink marshmallow too.  
  
Navi: **glares at Saria**  
  
Link: Yah... **lowers voice** so now we'll have to find a more, private place...  
  
Saria: **giggles** I know what you mean! Well, you had better go and see Mido first, he's the one to see!  
  
Link: Who's Mido? Is he your dog?  
  
Saria: **looks confused** what's a dog?  
  
Link: **sweat drops** never mind... Ok, I'll go see this Mido guy... BYE! **runs off and meets Mido at the entrance**  
  
Mido: Who are you?  
  
Link: I'm Link, I need to see the Great Deku Tree!  
  
Navi: **flys out from Link's hat where she was hiding** He was summoned!  
  
Mido: **ignores Navi** you can't see the Great Deku Tree without a shield and a sword!  
  
Link: all I'm doing is seeing a giant old tree, I'm not trying to kill it!  
  
Mido: **pulls out script** um... there's nothing in here if you say that...  
  
Link: **has a script too** oh yeah, I guess you're right... ok, I'll go get them! **runs off to little hole** Ooh! Little hole! Let's go in! **climbs in and sees the giant boulders rolling towards him** AHH! GIANT MILKDUD!  
  
Navi: maybe you should run in that little space over there?  
  
Link: **dives in it and hits the chest** Ooh, Nestle Treasure! **jumps on it and bits it** OUCH! **kicks it and it opens** ooh... **dives in** ACK! NAVI, HELP ME! THE BOX HAS EATEN ME!  
  
Navi: **flys over and pokes him till he climbs out**  
  
Link: yah! A sword! Now I can kick that Mido guy's...  
  
Navi: LINK! There is a rating, and we want to stick to it!  
  
Link: Oh yeah, all right. His butt then.  
  
Navi: Better.  
  
Link: **runs out and trips on a pile of red rupees** WEE! Candy rocks! **bites on one** OUCH!  
  
Navi: **looks at him like he's an idiot (which he is)** maybe they are some form currency? Maybe you could purchase a shield with such currency?  
  
Link: Maybe I will! **scoops them up and goes to the store** Hi, I'd like a shield please!  
  
Market Guy: ok, here. **hands Link the shield** that's forty rupees.  
  
Link: Um... **pulls out four red ones** will this do?  
  
Market Guy: **eyes bulge** yah, that should cover you. **takes the rupees from Link**  
  
Link: **walks out of store, head held high, and walks up to Mido** Hey there, move it or I'll show Saria what you're REALLY made of!  
  
Mido: Meep! **dives out of the way into the river**  
  
Link: **looks all big and bad as he walks into the path to the Great Deku Tree**  
  
I don't know if I want to continue this, it's total humor, and the plot will come in play later, I promise. Just give me time! Plz R&R if you liked it! Later! 


	2. The Great Deku Tree

Hey there ya'll! Thanks for the reveiws! I love you guys! **squeezes little review dolls** I really appreciate it! I'm going to take your advice, dorepoll, and do this parody right. I shall do the entire plot! Dun dun dun...... You guys owe me big time...  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Link: **sees Deku Baba who promptly try to attack him** AHH!!! GIANT PIXI STIX WITH TEETH!!! EEEEEK!!!  
  
Navi: **smacks into Link's head** They're Deku Baba, and what's with you and food being our enemy?!  
  
Link: **rubs spot of collision** ouch... I don't know, but how do I get the powder?  
  
Deky Baba: **flicks straight in the air**  
  
Navi: Take that as an invitation for your sword!  
  
Link: **slices the Deku Baba, leaving a Deku Stick behind** But, but, but... What about the little dust?  
  
Navi: **smacks into his head again**  
  
Link: **kills the other Deku Baba and walks to the Great Deku Tree** Hey there, almighty wooden dude!  
  
The Great Deku Tree: Look, little man, I want to skip the whole speech thing, 'cause the author is too lazy to play the game and find out exactly what I said. So get inside me, and kill the giant spider thing!  
  
Link: Oh, all right... **link walks into The Great Deku Tree's huge mouth** eew...  
  
Navi: **rams into his head again**  
  
Link: OUCH!  
  
Navi: **smirks, but looks a bit dizzy**  
  
(AN: yo, dorepoll, I really don't want to go through EVERYTHING in this stupid, fic, so... plz don't flame!)  
  
Link: **gets through to the slingshot place, and has it, and is now stuck on the ledge** Well, what now Navi?  
  
Navi: STOP ASKING ME FOR EVERYTHING! IT'S NOT LIKE I'M MAGICAL OR SOMETHING!!!  
  
Link: I thought you were my fairy, but if you're not... PINK MARSHMALLOW TIME!! **grabs Navi and eats her again, and this time, Navi doesn't come back up** oops...  
  
Navi: STUPID KID!!! BURP SO I CAN COME OUT!!!  
  
Link: **smirks evilly** But I don't want you to come back up!  
  
Navi: **rams into Link's stomach**  
  
Link: OUCH!! Ok, ok... BURP!!!  
  
Navi: **flys back up, all covered in slime** eeeew...  
  
Link: Now that you're here, what do I do now?  
  
Navi: sheesh, I have no idea.  
  
Link: ok then... **pulls out headphones and a CD player, and starts singing to Good Charlotte**  
  
Navi: What the?...  
  
Link: **singing** Lifestyles of the rich and the famous, they're always complainin', always complainin'...  
  
Navi: stupid kid...  
  
Link: Money's such a problem, they got the mansions, think we should rob them...  
  
Navi: **chucks a copy of The Script at Link**  
  
Link: **the headphones and CD player disapear. Picks up scipt** What's this for?  
  
Navi: FIND OUT HOW WE'RE SPOSED TO GET OUT OF HERE!!!  
  
Link: Oh, well, I'm supposed to chuck something at the ladder over the doorway...  
  
Navi: Ok then, DO IT!  
  
Link: All right, if you insist... **picks up Navi and chucks her at the ladder. The ladder knocks down**  
  
Navi: Ouch...  
  
Link: **get's all the way to Queen Gohma's room** Oh Navi!  
  
Navi: WHAT NOW?!  
  
Link: meep...... I just wanted to know what THAT WAS!!! **points to giant eye on the ceiling**  
  
Navi: Oh dear...  
  
Queen Gohma: **drops to the ground, and Link defeats her**  
  
Link: **runs to floating blue light thingy and steps in** Where's the cream filling?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Later ya'll! 


End file.
